I disappeared for 2 years and thought it might be a good idea to sit down and write about it. For many of you who don't know, I had something very traumatic happen to me back in Nov 2018. Traumatic would actually be an understatement, major life altering event is a better word. A couple months after that, my kitty Bu passed away, the next month I received a letter from my landlord that she wouldn't be renewing the lease of the apartment I was living in, I bought a house for the first time ever in my life...the list of major life stuff goes on. I was going through a major upheaval in 2019 and it was surrounded by chaos. Then 2020 happened to the world. I had to close up my shop in the Old Port because of the restrictions the city had in place. I was working from home just like everyone else during that time feeling separated and disconnected from everyone. I went to therapy and realized I was married to a narcissist (I had never heard that word before). I spent the rest of 2020 and 2021 trying to make that relationship work and it didn't. In 2022, I got divorced and bought another house and started over in a new town I had never heard of. It's in an area of Maine where I knew no one and didn't know the area at all. I figured it would only take me 2 months of downtime to get settled, organized, and go back to being my regular self. It didn't happen and I was foolish for thinking it would.
Two months literally turned into two years. My anxiety level was at an all time high. I also suffered from PTSD which I don't wish on anyone. After a couple more months, I became aware that I had also been having a spiritual awakening. You could have knocked me over with that one. I never really considered myself spiritual. I just got to a point in life where I wasn't happy and wanted to know what my life purpose was. Ask anyone and they will tell you in order to find your life purpose, you need to figure out what brings you joy. I had no joy and felt like a mindless robot. I found that in order to find joy, long story short you need to heal yourself from your past. We all have crap that has happened to us and you gotta release it. I may have had more than most people, but everyone's different. Going through the healing process is what they call the Dark Night of the Soul and it sucked. I had to heal stuff from my past when I was just a kid. Looking back at it now, I'm glad I made myself go through it. Healing is a process that takes time and I'm happy to be on the other side of it. I made it through my spiritual awakening and it took me 6 years.
I've reconnected with myself again and who I used to be. That's a girl who loves nature and working with natural elements, hello beach sand. I found a picture I drew when I was 6 years old. It's a picture of a blue house in the country, garden in the backyard, trees, and a black car. On the back I wrote, "when I'm older, I'll be making and selling art." This picture I drew is literally where I live now. I've been manifesting this life not even knowing what the word"manifesting" even was. I've been able to fill jewelry orders promptly this last month. I'm still working on the emails, it's a bit screwed up from the forwarding app I was using. One thing I was able to do a month ago that makes me really happy is lower the prices of most of the jewelry. In a world where everyone is raising prices, it's nice that I can do the opposite. I can do that because I no longer have employees or storefront overhead anymore, I'm a one woman show at this point.
I have a new business that I've been wanting to create for years, but never did. It's natural and holistic based. I kept getting signs from the universe to do it, but shrugged it off. It wasn't until I opened a package from a customer and her business card fell out of it that I started to pay attention. It was another sign and this one I couldn't ignore. I'm launching it on April 8, 2024 at 3:30pm, that will be when the solar eclipse is in Maine. I'm really excited to share it and start this new venture with you. Thank you for your support. Thank you for being patient with me during the last couple of years. My heart is filled with gratitude!
(I normally don't write about something this personal, but I think there is someone out there who needs to read it who it might help and make a different in their life.)